Lethal Shinobi
by Jadenandalexis4eva
Summary: So this is a story based on the 1987 movie Lethal Weapon. Naruto is the loose cannon almost psycho cop, while Shikamaru is the older more experienced cop. Together they're trying to take down smugglers in the leaf village. T FOR LANGUAGE


**LETHAL SHINOBI:**

_So this is a story based on the 1987 movie Lethal Weapon. Naruto is the loose cannon almost psycho cop, while Shikamaru is the older more experienced cop. Together they're trying to take down smugglers in the leaf village. _

**CHAPTER ONE: A NEW PARTNER? I'M TOO OLD FOR THIS SHIT!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Lethal Weapon. Kishimoto wasn't willing to sell the rights nor was WB. **

**A/N: this is one of my favorite movies of all time. I hope you've all seen it and will enjoy a slightly different take on it. Thanks, now enjoy. Another note, to say that the Nara children are all OC's. Now on to the story**

_December 21__st__ 1987 Konohagakure: _

A young prostitute lay in a bed of one of her customers. It had been a wild night with drugs, alcohol, and sex for money, it always seemed like this time of year was great for business. People were lonely, or just really drunk sometimes, it didn't matter, Christmas seemed to be the best time of year for the prostitution ring. Chuhiro Ackimichi was up to her neck in dough, the guy she'd roped in this night really knew how to give her good money's worth. Stirring slightly from her delirious state, she rolled over and grabbed yet another pill that had already made the night that much more pleasureable. Giggling slightly, she made her way to the window of the penthouse, she was staying in. With a weird smile on her face, she climbed the ledge of said window. Still with that same smile she looked down, and almost like an Olympic diver, threw herself off. However, it wasn't water she was about to hit, no soft landing in sight. Instead she ended up back first on top of a car, killing her instantly. Chuhiro Ackimichi, died at just a little past 2 o'clock in the morning, from the injuries she sustained in the fall.

_A little later that day at the House of Shikamaru Nara:_

It was around 8 o'clock that same day, that detective Shikamaru Nara relaxed in his bath. Comfortably soaking, with no real expression on his face, when his peace was interrupted.

"SURPRISE!" His entire family of his wife, 2 girls and one boy, shouted and entering the bathroom. With smiles on their face they "serenaded" Shkiamaru

"Happy Birthday to you. Happy Birthday to you. Happy Birthday dear Daddy. Happy birthday to you!" They sang in unison

"Make a wish one of his daughters pleaded

"I wish… I wish… it's not even worth it, man this is such a drag…" Shikamaru Grunted effortlessly blowing out the candles.

After the candles were blown out, the family kissed their father, and headed back to their respective rooms to get ready for the day at hand. All except his oldest daughter.

"Ah the big 5-0 huh dad?" She said, he just grunted as she continued

"Doesn't matter to me, because I still love ya!" Giving her father another peck, she left the bathroom for Shikamaru to finish up.

Shikamaru just sighed as he lay back down in the tub.

_Somewhere across town:_

In a trailer, on the other side of town lay undercover cop, Naruto Uzumaki. The TV droned on as he rolled out of his bed naked. Lighting up a cigarette, he walked across the trailer, and into his makeshift bathroom. Burping, he began to get himself ready for the days events ahead. He was about to make a big bust on some smugglers that he'd been making "deals" with for months. There was a small chance that today might be, his last day alive.

_Back in the Nara household:_

"Good morning" two girls greeted Mrs. Ino Nara who busied herself in the kitchen with breakfast

"Good morning girls. Mizuki is upstairs." Ino responded as if she already knew what the girls wanted to know

"Wow you are good Mrs. Nara" one of the girls commented "thank you"

"Uh… teenage girls such a drag" Shikamaru muttered as he plodded down stairs to greet his wife.

Shikamaru was wearing his usual attire for the day. Dress vest, with a white shirt, and tie, to complete his outfit. His bag of Shuriken and Kunai, hung at his side.

"Hey babe, what's this on my tie?" He asked Ino

"Looks like a stain to me Shikamaru" Ino quipped

"eh whatever" Shikamaru mumbled

"Yeah whatever indeed" Ino sighed, he was so lazy sometimes she wondered why she had married him in the first place

After all she was formerly Ino Yamanaka, whose family had run the most successful flower shop in Konoha, it's not like she needed the security.

"By the way Shika" she walked over to him planting a kiss on his cheek "do you know a man named Choji Ackimichi?" (A/N: please suspend disbelief, in this story Choji, Shikamaru, and Ino weren't on the same team)

"Choji Ackimichi…" Shikamaru repeated, almost as if conjuring up a memory. "Holy Shit, Choji Akimichi!" Shikamaru exclaimed instantly remembering the name

"Well what did he want?"

"You're office called Shika. Said that he's been trying to get in touch with you." Ino replied

"Jesus Choji…" Shikamaru said barely above a whisper, "Haven't talked to him in, well it must be, at least 12 years. Which would make me, fifty years old, and by extension…" he stopped himself when he caught Ino's glare

"We're not going to discuss that Shika. And how come I never heard of this Choji, before." Ino enquired

Shikamaru thought for a second "dunno… guess I just never really thought to bring him up. It was too much of a drag. Listen I just got a call on an apparent suicide downtown I gotta run."

"So he's an old Shinobi war buddy right?" Ino came up with

"Yeah pretty much" after that Shikamaru quickly kissed his wife, and began to head out to work. Not before being stopped by a feminine voice

"So daddy what do you think?" Mizuki asked her father

Shikamaru was stunned. Never before had he seen his daughter look so beautiful, she was wearing a black sleeveless silk dress.

"Wow…" Shikamaru stuttered as her daughter left the house.

"gonna be a real heartbreaker." Shikamaru grumbled before heading out the door.

_At the scene of Chuhiro's "accident":_

Shikamaru stepped out of his car and under the yellow tape, as he arrived at the scene.

"So what have we got?" He asked one of the officers,

"Well we've got a hooker here who said she witnessed the whole thing." The officer responded.

"Um excuse me, I do have a name, and it's Karin. Would you tell this pigs to back off." She spat at Shikamaru

"Alright guys, leave her alone…." He began only to be interrupted

"Well Shikamaru we had a jumper here last night. And Karin here saw the whole thing and…." The officer explained

"look you got a statement from her? Then send her home" Shikamaru ordered

the officer grunted but did as he was told, offering a ride to the prostitute which she accepted.

"Alright so give me the details" Shikamaru turned to one of the other officers writing up the reports on the scene

"Well her name was, Chuhiro Ackimichi. Age 22, prostitute, one arrest but no convictions, parents…" The officer rattled off

"Wait wait… what was the name again…" Shikmaru tried to get the cop to back track

"oh… uh Ackimichi, with parents Choji, and Moe" The officer recapped

"Moe…" Shikamaru said in stereo with the officer

"you know them?" the officer asked

"yeah… Alright I need to find out everything you can about her, who was the last person she was seen with, what she was on…." Shikamaru started off

"Well that'll take some looking into" the officer complained

"Well then look!" Shikamaru barked as he headed back to his car and left the scene

_Back at Shikamaru's office:_

Shikamaru sat distraught, never did he think he'd see one of his best friends in the war again. after the war they both went their separate ways, Shikamaru into law enforcement, Choji into business. Of course Shikamaru wanted to see Choji again, but not under these circumstances, not to tell him his daughter was dead.

Hesitantly he picked up the phone, dialed and waited for an answer

"hello, Nara residence" Ino answered on the other line

"Ino, it's Shika. I need the number for Choji" Shikamaru explained

"Ok Shika, is everything ok?" Ino questioned concerned

"No. His daughter just dove out a window from the 20th story" Shikamaru answered

"Oh my God…" Ino said sadly, "alright well his number is…"

Ino gave Shikamaru the number to call. After the phone call was over, Shikamaru hung up and got ready to deliver some of the worst news he ever had to while on the force. Things had been quiet since the shinobi war, but because of this it looked like another huge fight was on the outset of breaking out.

_December 21__st__ 9:00 AM, in a Christmas tree lot:_

Naruto sat as an undercover investor wearing a plaid vest, black sports coat, and smoking a cigarette, examining the goods the smugglers were selling. He'd been on the case now for a few weeks, and was about ready to bust these punks for trying to sully the good name of Konoha. Since he was a young man he'd been rough, tough and a little on the crazy side, which had served him well on his undercover assignments.

"Wow… looks like some good stuff here." Naruto said examining the goods that lay before him

"better fuckin' believe it" one of the smugglers quipped

"So how much are we talkin' here?" Naruto asked

"For how much?" the smugglers laughed

"Well all of it… duh." Naruto answered as if that was the dumbest question he'd ever been asked

"Oh you're probably looking at one hundred…" The smuggler surpised answered. But was jovial when Naruto nodded his head in agreement.

"You know, you've been really good about this. So I'm gonna give you any Tree you see on this lot for free." The smuggler added

"Free? Wow!" Naruto Feigned shock, alright let's do it. With that he took out his wallet and began counting

"20, 40, 60, 80" Naruto dispensed the bills

"Wait, wait, WAIT!" The smuggler tried to stop Naruto. Knowing that he didn't understand what he meant by 100.

"Dude, seriously you're gonna make me lose count" Naruto responded annoyed

"NO NO NO! Not 100 dollars, 100 thousand dollars dumb shit!" The smuggler yelled now getting aggressive

"100 thousand, well that's more than I got. But I'll tell you what" Naruto explained producing a badge tossing it on top of the stash, "I'll take this whole stash, for free, and you ASSHOLES, as you so elegantly put, can go straight to jail."

The smugglers thought for a second, then began laughing uncontrollably. Looking down at the badge, and back at Naruto, they picked up the badge again, and tossed back at him.

"that badge ain't real, and you ain't real!" The smugglers laughed

"You sure are a crazy son of a bitch" One of the smugglers cackled

Naruto laughed along with them. Knowing full well he had backup just around the corner.

"Oh you guys think I'm crazy. You want crazy, I'll show you Crazy!" With that Naruto slapped one smuggler, poked another one in the eyes, and then drew out a kunai.

"Now let me explain this. This is a real badge, I'm a real cop, and this is a real Fuckin' Kunai!" Naruto barked at the Smugglers who finally started taking him seriously.

"Now down on the ground dickheads!" Naruto Commanded,

However, before he could get to the arresting, a shuriken flew out of the air, hitting the lead smuggler in the head, killing him instantly. Naruto spun around as fast as he could, and fired his Kunai straight into the heart of the offending thrower. Sirens blared, as Naruto's backup team came to help him out. Rolling to his left, he fired two more kunai at one of the Smugglers, leaving him on the ground dead, just like the other two.

"Uzumaki you requested backup" One of Naruto's men shouted

"yeah there's three down and one loose in here. He's got black hair and a red shirt on."

"You've got it, wait there until we secure the area…" An officer explained, but it was too late as Naruto began barreling into the Tree lot, in search of the perpatrator.

As he began looking around he was taken off guard by said perp who held a blade on Naruto's neck.

"Don't move a fuckin' inch" The Perp commanded

"Drop the blade" One of the officers who'd made it into the lot demanded 

"Come on kill him! Do it!" Naruto began barking.

"Shut the Fuck up!" The smuggler yelled hoping that the cops weren't as crazy as this guy

"Drop the goddamn blade!" Another officer yelled as more backup arrived on the scene to aid Naruto

"Come on just kill this fuckin' guy. Damn it!" Naruto kept demanding

"Shut up! Are you fuckin' crazy. They'll kill you too!" The smuggler informed Naruto

"Come on you little prick kill me do it!" Naruto prodded

"**Shut the fuck UP!" **The criminal barked again at Naruto leaving himself face to face with his captive. Bad idea.

Naruto grabbed the criminal by the collar, and gave him a strong head butt. Forcing the criminal to drop the blade, and giving the other officers the chance to arrest him.

"get him the fuck outta here." Naruto Grunted "I'm goin' home"

_December 21__st__ 6:00 PM:  
_

Naruto sat there, recapping the events of the day in his mind. His TV once again droned on, which didn't even hold his interest. Naruto now clad in a white T-shirt, and orange shorts, sat down glancing at the Kunai, that he'd used to kill one of the Smugglers. Taking a look around his trailer, he got up to get another glass of Sake. The bottle of which was close to empty.

Naruto, as stated before, grew up without a mother or father, and in fact really had no one. Until the day, he'd entered the academy and met… her. Ten-Ten, with her hair like a panda, tied up in a bun, her perfect body, and ability to fight, Naruto fell in love instantly. Ten had always been his reason for living, the thing that made him, happiest in life. The woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. Ten-Ten had apparently felt the same way, since a little while after meeting Naruto, the two started dating. It didn't take either one long to realize that they would spend the rest of their lives together. And in December of 1976, the two were married.

It was a healthy marriage, a strong one, and a loving one as well. Naruto would find many nights, where he'd be working late, but still had time to see her, surprise her with little gifts as if to say nothing more than "I love you." It seemed like it was the perfect marriage that no one could separate. Then Tragedy struck.

Ten-Ten, was driving home one night a few years ago when, suddenly a car swevered into hers killing her instantly. A blow from which Naruto to this day, hadn't recovered from. Making him seem cold and distant to everyone around him. Some even thought it might've driven him to the point of insanity.

Quietly sitting, he looked again at his Kunai, and pressed it against his throat, as tears began to form in his eyes. This was the end for him, finally he'd be reunited in death with his beloved. Steadying the knife, he tried to drag it across his throat, with no success something seemed to be holding him back. He didn't know what, he just knew he didn't want to live anymore, so he tried a different tactic. He pressed the Kunai to his chest, again getting ready for the end. Once again however, he was held back, by what? He wasn't really sure. The tears began falling even harder down his face, like the rain falling outside.

"Goddamn it…" He sobbed. And proceeded to pick up the picture standing there, of his Ten-Ten

Tears wetting the picture, "I miss you" Naruto sobbed hard, "Ten-Ten, silly isn't it?" his tears kept coming "I'll see you later. Oh God, I'll see you much later."

Naruto placed the picture back down, and buried his head in his arms. He still was no closer to seeing his love.

_The Precinct December 22__nd__ 7:00 AM:_

"Are you saying that you think Naruto is just putting up a front?" Shizune, the psychologist asked incredulously to Cheif Ibiki Morino

"He's trying to get the cash. I've seen it 100 times, Doc…" Ibiki attempted to explain as he walked down the hall with the doctor hot in pursuit.

"That's a very dangerous assumption Captain. Might I remind you that his wife of 11 years was recently killed in a car accident. He's also been known to pull his weapons when he…" Shizune tried to explain but was interrupted again

"I know all about Naruto alright? Yeah he's a tough bastard but…" Ibiki once again tried to explain, but with no dice

"He's on the edge Chief, I'm telling you he may be psychotic." Shizune concluded as if she had won the argument

"Shizune. To me that's a bunch of Psych bullshit" Ibiki shot back

"Really? Well take this then, you are making a mistake Naruto is 100 percent suicidal." Shizune fired at Ibiki.

"You're sure of that aren't you? You just have everyone figured out…" Ibiki moaned

"of course not, there are no absolutes in this…" Shizune spat

"Well there you have it. End of discussion. We're gonna wait and if he does off himself, then we'll know I was wrong." Ibiki Concluded

"This can't be the end of discussion Chief…" Shizune complained

"Doc… If you don't mind, private time!" Ibiki haughtily made reference to the sign on the bathroom he was headed into. With that he slammed the door in SHizune's face.

"Asshole…" Shizune grumbled as she walked away defeated.

_At Shikamaru's desk:_

"You know Shika you're way behind the times…" One of his co workers observed Shikamaru just ignored him.

"Guys in this day and age, just wanna have fun. They don't give 2 shits about illegal or legal activity they're just in it for the hell of it." The officer continued. Shikamaru seemed completely uninterested

"Let me give you an example. Last night, I cried about my crack whore mother leaving me at 10, just to bed some chick." The officer went on

"Yeah and how'd that work?" Shikamaru grunted

"Blueballs dude, blueballs…." The officer sighed and left the office

Shikamaru went back to studying the recent death of Chuhiro when, another detective walked in.

"Well we've got more news on the Akimichi case Shika" The detective informed

"That was quick." Shikamaru answered

"yeah, well so was the autopsy. They think this wasn't a suicide." The Detective continued

"figures" Shikamaru glanced up looking unimpressed

"Yeah, the coroner found evidence that she was using pills." The detective said

"Wow, that's great detective work. Because there were pills all over the place" Shikamaru answered sarcastically.

While glancing up again, he saw a man walking in with the chief, clad in an orange outfit and smoking, his hair was blonde, unkempt, and he looked like a total bum.

"Right that's not what I came in here to tell you." The Detective answered now starting to irritate Shikamaru, whose gaze was fixed on this new comer.

"Fact is that those pills, were doctored with Drain cleaners, so even if she didn't throw herself off the balcony, she woulda died anyway inside 15 minutes." The Detective concluded.

"This whole case stinks like yesterday's garbage" Shikamaru answered still transfixed on this new guy, who'd lighten up his cigarette.

"Hey Shika" The Chief said, passing by his office, "you know you look younger everyday."

"Thanks chief" Shikamaru answered with a forced smile.

"Oh that's right your birthday was yesterday." The detective observed

"some detective you are…" Shikamaru groaned his eyes still locked on the man

"Whatever. Hey there are two new things by the way." The Detective informed

"Shoot" Shikamaru answered keeping his eyes on Naruto

"Well first, there was defintaely someone in the bed with Chuhiro…" The detective answered

"uh huh and the second?" Shikamaru asked

"Well the second is that I'm supposed to tell you you're breaking in a new partner for this case." The detective once again finished not looking forward to Shikamaru's answer

"Oh God, not again. Man this is such a drag." Shikamaru objected as he turned his full attention to the detective who'd just given him the "good news."

"Yeah he's on loan from one of the lower divisions. They say he's on the edge man…" The detective clarified

"Perfect… Man how troublesome." Shikamaru griped

after looking back to Naruto, he realized that Naruto had drawn out a shuriken and was throwing it up in the air, and faking like he was going to throw it at someone.

"ATTACK!" Shikamaru roared as he ran towards Naruto to try to stop him.

Naruto however, looked up at exactly the right time, and in one motion, flipped Shikamaru on his ass, readied a kunai from his belt, and placed it against Shikamaru's neck

"Uh… Shika" The detective looked flabbergasted "I'd like you to meet your… Uh new partner. Naruto Uzumaki." The detective revealed

"grrr… I'm too old for this shit. What a drag." Shikamaru whined realizing what a problem this could possibly present.

**END CHAPTER 1**

_A/N: Wow it's been a while since I updated anything I said I would on my profile, but I had like two years worth of writers block, but I think I'm back. Anyway what surprises twists and turns with this story take, well read and review and you'll soon find out. _

_A lot of you have been asking about the status of my other stories. Well like I said I've been on writers block for two years but I'm definitely going to start them up again soon. Look for A Holliday Challenge turn 4 to be up by December, and maybe even the next 3 chapters by the end of the year. Love in the Cards, Love Breaks the Spell, and West Side Shinobi, should all be updated soon. As far as Tashigi goes, Biggestdreamer86 and myself are working hard on new ideas for the story so maybe soon you'll see an update. That's all for now. I hope you enjoyed_

_Please Read and REVIEW READ AND REVIEW, READ AND REVIEW!_


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